Human Kindness

I’ve noticed a phenomenon that seems to have escalated after the 2020-2021 lockdown era. People seem to not only strive to be devoid of kindness, but actively recoil when others express acts of kindness. For example, I saw a post go viral because a Door Dasher sent a kind message wishing someone well, letting them know their food was on the way and reminding them they are loved and valuable in the world. Is it a bit more than what’s needed in a Door Dash message? Sure. But the reactions were all in agreement that the message would have annoyed them or pissed them off. I’m not sure why. If I received this message, it would have made me smile. Perhaps I would have thought it was unneeded for the order, but I would have appreciated the kind words and thoughtfulness nonetheless. I likely would have left a larger tip than originally intended and maybe even replied with encouraging words of my own.

But this is just one example. At grocery stores, people will wait in a long line to utilize self-checkout lines while cashiers have maybe 1-2 people waiting in their lines. Socially and culturally, there is now a disdain for human interactions and a sort of disgust for kindness or socializing with strangers. This is a dichotomy, because those in our lives were once strangers, so I’m not sure where this mindset comes from or what fuels it. Perhaps it’s because some did not mask up or get vaccinated, so there’s a certain level of distrust in that a stranger we socialize with might not have our best interests in mind. To an extent, I understand that. But it doesn’t explain why there are such negative reactions to kindness itself.

There also seems to be a level of disdain for seeking to be present in the moment. If someone isn’t on their phone in public but is instead taking in their surroundings, taking photos of nature, journaling, or anything aside from being on their phone, there is also a stigma that comes along with that. They may be labeled a loner, looked down upon, or strangers might wonder why they’re just looking around and trying to be present.

This is the real dichotomy. There’s an expectation that we all must be connected to other people via technology, yet, we must remain completely disconnected from those around us. It’s created an environment of isolation. While genuine friendships can form through online connections, it’s the exception and not the norm (or the friendships are long-distance rather than with people you can spend time with on a regular basis). I’m not sure what caused this. As mentioned, there is an understandable level of distrust that the conditions of the lockdown fostered, but I don’t think that distrust results in the phenomenon of total disconnect and disgust for kindness that we’re experiencing now.

After reading so many comments and posts from people who fully live into this dichotomy, I can’t help but wonder: Am I in the minority for wanting genuine connection and wanting to accept and share kindness with others? I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know things have changed. And I’m not sure if we will ever go back to appreciating kindness and wanting to interact with others at a societal/cultural level.