Synthesize

As a writer, I often find it difficult to synthesize things I enjoy and the work I have done into one, singular career path or funnel. Sometimes, I wish I was something that required a structured path, like a teacher, accountant, or lawyer. From the outside, those career paths appear far easier to navigate. Teachers are qualified to teach specific grade levels or subjects based on their area of study and certifications. Accountants work within strict guidelines of budgeting, balancing, and planning. Lawyers pursue a specific area of law and become licensed to practice in that one specific area in their specific region. Writers do not have this luxury (though, sure, there are exceptions). For those who have largely pursued freelance and contracted work, I’m sure you can relate to this. You have your dream/ideal area of writing (for me, this is fashion and art), the area you find the greatest meaning in (for me, this is human rights + marine/environmental conservation), and the area that’s exciting because you get to research and learn the most while working (for me, this is tech centered on helping humanity and benefiting underserved communities [interesting because I don’t love tech in general]). 

So, I find myself at an intersection. Do I pursue the work that’s fun but can, at times (depending on the content and what I’m writing about) feel shallow? Do I pursue the work that’s meaningful but more emotionally draining and not as creatively fulfilling? Or do I go for what brings me the joy of learning but isn’t necessarily fulfilling either creatively or meaningfully? All areas of work have pros and cons. Nothing is ever perfect. It feels like I’m at a point where I want to pursue the most meaningful work. I can always read about fashion and go to art galleries and watch runway shows and feel inspired. I don’t have to write about it. So, I guess this means that I’m leaning towards writing about human rights and environmental conservation. But I also worry that in doing so, I’ll be losing something. I’ll be losing part of me. 

Being a writer can feel difficult at times. It requires thoughtfulness, decision-making, and often times, choosing one specific career path that pushes another dream to the side. Truthfully, I haven’t worked in fashion in a few years. Not really, anyway. I love beautiful designs and watching pieces and collections come together. But I don’t like the emphasis on keeping up with trends and knowing all the “right people” and working for free to “get your name out there” and trying to be seen rather than known and losing part of yourself in that. I don’t miss that part of it at all, and in fact, that’s largely why I left and why I stopped my publication. I think if there were a way I could just write about fashion and art and how I interpret it, inspiring designers and startups, and how it all ties into life and adds meaning to life, I would love that. But realistically, I know this is not what sells. People want to see trends and they want to follow people who want to be public figures and publicly make names for themselves. 

So, I guess maybe I’ve answered my own question here. I think, in a perfect world, I would be so happy being a fashion journalist. Writing about designers doing incredible work and tying collections into current events, explaining how they’re reflective of society in some way or how they add meaning in some way. But that’s not reality. I guess, what I’m trying to say is maybe caring so deeply for garment workers while I was pursuing fashion journalism is leading me to this next phase of my career. Maybe it’s a gift. Maybe it’s leading me towards writing that is fully compassionate and wholly focused on sharing stories of community, environmental conservation, human rights progress, and just humanity in general. I don’t know exactly what this will all look like yet. But I know I am excited to see where the path leads.